My opinion on Video Games

Video games is a subject so many stand behind. But I think differently. Video games are the mastermind of this generation. It's changing our generation into being Lazy and turning people into morphed mushrooms than actual human beings. Some video games are great such as Candy Crush and Flappy Bird. Any video game that causes you to use your brain is perfect. Driving games were always my favorite because I thought they were "fun". As well as guitar hero because it's not taking you away from what's important which is life. Some people become so obsessed with video games that it's all that matters. The sports video games like Madden don't worry me.  It's the violent ones that worry me . The one I really dislike is Grand Theft Auto. My question is why would people want to put those awful things in our brain. I don't know because I know I wouldn't. I for sure know I wouldn't want my child playing those video games. It may not be affecting our age crazy bad. But its affecting us enough to the point where Men don't even know how to be men anymore. They don't know how to change a tire or fix a toilet or even how to treat a women. I think it's all because of video games. I also think women are becoming so obsessed with video games that we don't know how to cook or clean or be responsible women. Video games is taking a crap load to our generation. Whatever happened to sweet video games like Mario cart back in the old days?. All I know I'm against video games. Once in awhile fun night with the family video game night is fine but when somebody is playing video games all day all the hours of the night. That's when it's wrong. I think if we would set boundaries for ourselves about video games this generation would be much stronger.

Family

What does family mean to me? Family means support and love. My family is amazing. My mom and dad are always there. My sister pushes me to believe in myself. I got tons of aunts and uncles that love me and that are there for me. And My cousins are all my best friends. Not to mention I didn't tell you about both of my grandmothers who support me no matter what. It's an amazing feeling to have family. But sometimes just because you have a good family. That doesn't mean that bad things aren't going to happen within your family. It's normal for families to get into fights, to gossip about each other and maybe you have one family member you worry about. Those things are all normal. But some of the things people go through are extraordinary. Some teenagers my age lost there mom or dad at a young age. Maybe even a sibling. Some  teenagers my age there whole family is on drugs. Some teenagers my age don't have anybody to turn to in there family because there family is broken beyond belief. That happens and I've seen it a bunch of times. Sometimes all people want is a loving family. A family that is there but sometimes people don't have that. I don't understand what that feels like. But I do have to say that sometimes my family doesn't support me in what I do. Sometimes they make me angry and do things that just annoy me. But the thing that I've learned is I can't change my family. I can't change them, No matter how hard I try there not going to change. So what I've applied to my own life is that I have to focus on myself. If everybody in my family are messed up in different ways then I have to ignore them. It may hurt to watch your family not be who you want them to be. But the only way you can get away from that negativity in your life is if you ignore it. It may hurt so bad and it may take time getting used to. But once you stop listening and watching and dwelling on what is happening around you. Happiness will crawl in a little bit at a time. It's painful watching a broken family. I told you at the beginning of this paragraph that I have a great family! Which I do, But there's some family members in my family who aren't doing to good. That hurts a lot and it bothers me but the only thing I can do is focus on myself. I can't change those family members I can only focus on me. If you have brokenness around you, If your tired of fighting the same fight and dealing with all of the craziness that's going on in your family. Focus on You. You can get away from all of that if you focus on YOU. Getting yourself where you need to be. Shoot me a message if you'd like through my email- Amandakate364@yahoo.com If you have something you'd like help with or just prayer. Send me an email I'd love to meet you, Touch base with you and be there for you:)

Pain in our hearts

There's pain in each and everyone of us. We have all been through pain. Maybe somebody in your family passed away. Maybe there's addiction in your family, Maybe you struggle with depression or anxiety, Maybe you have lost everything you have owned, Maybe you were molested or raped. Whatever it is, We have all been through something. We are the broken age. There is brokenness all around me. I see teenagers around me that are my age that are putting love into the wrong things. Whether it's drugs, alcohol or sex. Then I see adults around me gossiping about each other and struggling with addiction and anger and unhappiness. There's pain everywhere. Everywhere I've looked and everyone I have ever talked to. I see pain. But in my eyes pain isn't a bad thing. Pain is beautiful. Pain is God's plan for you... I know that may sound weird, Your probably thinking what the heck? Pain is hell!! But it's not. You see what I've found out is without Pain we wouldn't become strong. Without Pain we wouldn't be able to live freely. Pain usually brings something greater than itself.  You see Pain usually causes us to hit rock bottom. Am I right? Hitting rock bottom sucks because it's a last resort. But when you hit rock bottom. You normally have to make a choice. Do I want to be happy? Or do I want to keep living this awful life. I made the decision 2 years ago that I wanted to be happy. I've grown so much through my Pain. Really everybody has been through Pain and a lot of people handle Pain differently. A lot of people I've noticed build up a wall. They don't talk to anybody. Not a therapist, Not a friend, Not family members nobody. They hide there pain. Hiding your pain is a problem because it eats you up inside and doesn't let you grow. That's why you have to let your pain go. It's not easy but you can do it if I did it. The thing is your always going to remember the events that happened to you and your always going to continue with the same problems but the point is the pain will be gone and you will be able to move on. Pain shows beauty. I know a lot of people who have experienced pain who have gone on to do great and beautiful things. People who go into the mental health field, People who start churches or become pastors, People who start charities or go into the missionary field. Pain brings us Joy. Without Pain we would never become who we are. So instead of looking at pain as a bad thing. Try to look at it as a good thing. But also your pain is never going to be released until you let go of it. Let down that wall and you will find happiness in good things instead of the bad. I love you.

Dear Leah Norris & Codi Regan:)

Leah Norris and Codi Regan are doing exactly what God has called them to do. (Work for Foundations for peace). I can't imagine what it must feel like to be a missionary. It must feel amazing and I'm 100 % certain you both are where you need to be. I met Leah and Codi my sophomore year of high school at my amazing church Woodside Presbyterian. These girls showed me there love . I see how devoted they are to God. It's amazing how they gave up there summer to work in another Country. I think it's beautiful. I think it also takes so much strength to do so. Seeing there love for God just makes me want to love him even more. There strength keeps me going and reminds me that God will direct my path . There being God's hands and feet. Leah started a blog as well as Codi. There making a difference in the lives of others. I decided to make a blog also. Not about being a missionary but getting through every day life. All three of us are making a change in the world. Were all being God's hand's in feet in some way's. Were all touching lives.  I thank God for both of these girls. I know there doing amazing things and being the hands of Jesus. They give me strength and a desire to help others and live under God. I ask that you all pray for Leah and Codi as they continue there Journey in Haiti. There not only my friends but there my sisters in Christ who have been so good to me. There inspiring me everyday. I miss you guys & I love you!!!

Judgemental People

A lot of people may look at Christians and think that we as Christians are judgmental. Whether it's judging the music somebody's listening to or an appearance of somebody. Many people always point there fingers at Christians. I'm not going to lie to you. I  have met some Christians  who are very judgmental in the past . There out there. There are Christians that will judge you. But let me tell you something I've learned from God. Judging somebody is not the Christian way. I struggle with judgment. Sometimes I will look at a person and if they act a certain way or wear different kind of clothing I automatically think in my head  "weird". If I see somebody drinking or smoking I automatically think there " Disgusting". But is that correct? Are we supposed to do that? Is that our Job?. No it's not. Our Job as Christians is to come at people with love and acceptance. The bible talks a lot of about judging others . Here's one of them -Luke 6:37 - Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:
I know in the bible it states that a marriage should be between a man and a women. That may be true. Do I agree with somebody being Gay? I don't, But no matter what I will always accept somebody who's Gay. I will always love them and I will never try to change them. I also will never talk to them about what it says in the bible about marriage being between a man and a women. Because there who they are and telling them that there wrong for being Gay is disturbing. The Christian way is to give them love and show them God's love.  Just like a drug addict people may think the person's a horrible person. But that's not true. A drug addict goes to drugs for a reason. It's not just because there selfish or a bad person it's because there hurting. The Christian way is to give them love and show them God's love no matter what. With tattoo's piercings and gages . A lot of Christians don't really agree with those things. But our job is to maybe not agree but to not judge and show them our love. You'll find that people with tattoo's , piercings and gages are usually the nicest people around.  Judging somebody is wrong. I have to work on it. It's super hard and nobody's perfect. But the thing I can tell you is to TRY not to judge. You don't know what somebody's been through, You don't know who the person is. They could be a great person for all you know. But also stand up against people who think Christians are judgmental. Because not all of them are. Love you, Hope your having a good day and may the rest of your night be filled with blessings!

 

These quote is correct sometimes but not all people who follow God are judgmental. There's always going to be somebody who judges in the world. It's a matter of sticking with those who don't!:)

 

 

 

My Liberty University Journey.

I don't know what God has planned for me. I do no he wants me to do Liberty Online. The thing is I wanted something cheap I wanted something that had my degree and I wanted a Christian based education. Everybody told me why don't you go to bucks? Here's the reason why. Bucks doesn't offer what I need. I knew bucks wasn't the right school for me. I truly believe God was speaking to my heart. Everybody told me to go with Bucks. But really I knew in my heart that it wasn't the right choice. People have there different opinions on online school. Liberty has run in my family for a long time. I have distant family members who completed there masters and undergrad through Liberty online. I also have had two close family members that have actually lived on campus and completed there degrees. My sister also attended there. A Christian education is important to me. Because having God helps me. Who wouldn't want to learn about God everyday through there school work? It's a dream! . I don't know where God is putting me but I do know he want's me to be in the mental health field. I truly believe I'm going down the right path. My number one hope is that I can live under God and be his hands and feet and touch lives. Be there for others and help make the world a better place. If you feel uncertain about a college. Pray about it, God will lead you where you need to be!

Feeling Better

Yesterday and the day before I was a mess. But today I feel so much better! I feel at peace, I feel happy and I feel like God brought me through the storm. Sometimes it happens where I get depressed but I know it's apart of my life and I'm going to live with it for the rest of my life. But today I'm feeling good. I'm feeling happy, blessed and just excited for my future. See the thing about God is that he always puts me in dark situations but then once there over I feel better than I did before. He lets me see dark so I come out of it happy and ready to take on life. God's got me. He's not letting me go anywhere. I am his child and he loves me. I will thank him for bringing me through the storm once again. and for Letting me see the light.

Being 18

Is this how being 18 is supposed to feel? Because if it is, I'm already hating it. I've been 18 since October but graduating high school just made things 10 time harder. First off, I need a Job and I really can't get one because I don't have my license nor even my permit. I've been planning to go get my permit for awhile now but because my parents are so busy I never have anybody to take me. & When I need to talk about important things like college, or getting a job or my license. My parents are too tired to talk about it. My day seriously consists of sitting in my house all day.. What else am I supposed to do? I have to wait when my parents have free time and it is the worst feeling in the world. I don't want to be a big loser. I don't want to sit in my house everyday. I want to be out in the world doing things and it is the most upsetting thing being stuck in my house all day. The only time I ever get out is when somebody takes me out or when I have some place to go like the doctors, babysitting or when I go over somebody's house.  I look at myself and I think WOW WHAT A FAILURE. And I think probably every single person in my family and my friends list probably thinks the same thing about me. My family will tell you there not thinking that. But I'm 100 % certain there thinking that. Have you figured it out yet? I don't know what's been happening but last night and today my depression has kicked in. I'm an emotional wreck. I'm angry today and I'm just pretty much fed up. If I had a choice I'd rather be homeless. Sometimes I think I would be much happier that way. I honestly just want a good paying Job. I want to get my license, I want to pay for a car. I want to do grown up things. I feel like everybody around me is 10 x more grown up than me. But apart of it is because my family won't let me grow up. I look at all of my friends and how they get to go to prom houses and go to concerts and stay out till 2 am and be able to drive with whoever they want. That's apart of being a teenager. But I never ever got to experience that. Because I'm not allowed. SO YUP. This has been my life. Sitting inside of my house with nowhere to go because I don't have my license. I have a lot going on in my head and no way to stop this. This is what happens. I'll be really happy for a month and then one week will be like hell for me. I've been praying and trusting in God. But sometimes the devil gets in the way. Honestly It's annoying . The devil is awful and I wish he would just go away. So there you have it, That's how I'm feeling today. It's apart of having bipolar disorder. It's something I'll live with whether I like it or not. I have hope for myself and I think I will be perfectly fine. It's just been a rough couple of days. Don't get my wrong I love my life, I love my family, I love my friends and I love the Lord. It's just sometimes the black cloud comes back and I can't get out of it. But eventually the storm passes and than I'm happy again:) I know a lot of you can relate to that. Where sometimes life get's you down. Just keep praying. It'll only make you stronger. I take everyday with a bullet proof vest on. Because I never know what my mood is going to be like. It's so hard living with bipolar disorder. It's so hard being an adult and trying to grow up. There's so many things I have to learn still . But I know God will be with me every step of the way. I am NOT alone. I am STRONG and COURAGEOUS . Life just sucks sometimes. So ya know what? I'm going to take today and move on and just try to face another day tomorrow. Prayers will be gladly accepted. This is why I keep my blog. So you know what it's like living with bipolar disorder. Things aren't always peachy. They get super rough. It's important to just stay strong and pray:) Love you.

Tonights just one of those nights.

Tonight is a night that I hate. Tonight is a night that I cry myself to sleep, fight with my parents and dread waking up the next day. Trying to be strong is very hard. I'm so messed up in the head tonight. Every thought that comes into my head is a bad one. This is when I cry non stop. & This is when I ask God to shut off my brain. It's just one of those nights. & I know tomorrow I'll be different I'll be back to normal. But tonight that's  just not going to happen. I'm pretty sure all teenage girls have nights like these. Maybe even some adults. I know for teenage girls it's always just high school stuff and getting ready for college and a lot of anxiety about different things. I just wish I didn't have nights like these. But I'm sure if you went down the road like I did and continue to go through. You would have nights like these too. I consider these nights normal because they've been happening to me since I was a little girl. They continue to happen maybe once every 3 weeks. When it happens it hits me hard and I feel like I'm back in my black hole. But just for a few hours until I fall asleep. & Then I'm back to my happy bubbly self again the next day. Nights like these are very difficult. I never get suicidal thoughts or bad thoughts . I just get a sad feeling. Almost like a whole in my heart. I think about past occurrences that have happened and then I get really depressed and then I think of new things that are happening and things that are making me unhappy now. & Then I get depressed. So usually I just cry. I really should pray during these times. But usually I'm just in such a dark place I just forget to and I just drown in my sorrows. I know people are probably going to read this and think " How can she help people if she's screwed up herself"? The truth is I'm not screwed up. I am normal. Anybody that has been through what I've been through will experience the same exact thing. It's normal for people like me to go through dark nights like these. Were not perfect human beings. We get depressed sometimes. We have bad nights it happens. I can't explain why this happens. I don't really know honestly. All I know is that God is right here with me. I think this is just a part of the healing process.  I think it is the bodies natural way of getting rid of baggage. To let it all go in your bedroom silently. Tomorrow is a new day. I have to keep reminding myself that tonight is just a night that I'll get through and tomorrow  and I'll be happy again:). God is right here and I know he is .  If you've ever felt like this especially at night your not alone. It's super hard but God is with you. We can get through it together I promise<3. Love- Amanda.

How I feel today

Today I'm nervous. I have a lot of anxiety today. I guess I have anxiety about my future and college and what God has planned for me. I've decided to do Liberty University Online and I decided to go for Christian Counseling. I've already gotten negative comments about my decision by family members. It's been difficult. I've never done well in school. I've always gotten bad grades growing up and through all of my ups and downs with my depression. It's almost like how can I ever go on and be an adult? I do have hope though because I'm going down the career path that God has decided for me. People don't understand why I'm doing online college. But I don't care about people's opinions. I'm ready to help families and teenagers who are going through dark times. My therapist in the past told me that about 80 % of people who have been in therapy get a career as a therapist. I'm just inspired and ready to give back to the world. I'm praying that hopefully I can one day work in a church or a mental health facility. I know it's a challenging field and you don't make tons of money. But I'm not doing it for the money I'm doing it because it's challenging and because it's what God has called me to do. I've been blessed with great people. I am ready to take on whatever God holds for me. My #1 goal is to maybe work 2 jobs in the future. Maybe do part time in a church that I will love and also work in a mental health facility. Whatever God has planned I'll follow it. I'm just hoping that everything will turn out okay. I can only do my Job and that's to pray and work hard. God will lead the way and I'm sure it's really not going to be all that easy. But I'm prepared. I think I just need the right support. I'm just happy with what God has given me. I'm happy with the dark path he took me on. I'm just pure happy. But just because I'm happy it doesn't mean I'm not going to have days where I feel angry or sad. Because I'm human. I know I've been praying for all of you. But I just ask that you all Pray for me. Just pray that everything will turn out the way God wants it to. Just pray that I will see the light and for a future Job for me. I don't want to quit I want to keep going. Jeremiah 29:11 states- For I know the plans I have for you, Plans to prosper not to harm you but to give you a future and a hope.

I know God has a plan for me. I just pray everything works out for the best.

My opinion on Justin Bieber

I first began to like Justin Bieber in 9th grade. I saw his movie Never Say Never and I was completely sold on who he was at the time. He had great morals and his family were Christians. He seemed to have a good head on his shoulders. He would always post about God on his instagram and twitter and he would hangout with some world known pastors and he was a respectful guy. I remember I had a dream to meet him. So I began praying and praying and praying. My whole family hated him at the time. But for no complete reason. They didn't know any of his background or anything. Who were they to judge? When I got to attend a Meet and Greet. I saw a broken Justin. Somebody who was struggling. I couldn't believe  all of the girls around him were not dressed appropriately. They also weren't respecting who he was as a person. He had sunglasses on but I could tell that he was exhausted. My sister and I also smelled what seemed like Marijuana. But we weren't sure. I just felt sorry for him. Because I knew what a good guy he was and all these girls were throwing themselves at him like he was an item and not a real person. And when he came out on stage there were tons of girls screaming and acting crazy and a girl threw her bra on stage. Like it makes me sad is this what our girls are growing up to be? For the past two years Justin has been getting into trouble and he has lost sight of who he was. But honestly who wouldn't? He's in a world of fame where girls treat him like garbage and run after his car and chase him down to the point where it's unsafe?. It's hard on him I'm sure and he always has to be " perfect". He has a lot of pressure. I don't think anybody understands that aspect of it. I have hope for Justin because recently he found God again and he has been hanging out with one of the pastors from A big church called Hillsong in new York and he actually recently got baptized. Am I disappointed in Bieber? The answer is no because growing up in fame is hard enough. It's so hard dealing with the paparazzi. He can't even have a normal relationship with Selena Gomez because these girls swoon over him and get jealous to the point where there sending her death threats? All I know is. I know Justin Bieber is a good person. I don't know him personally but I know he comes from good routes and he does believe in God. People may judge him all they want. But really you have no idea what it's like being in his shoes . You have no idea about his life, where he came from or the mindset he has now. Yes he's made mistakes but haven't we all? Were all not supposed to be perfect and We all drift away from God sometimes. Because were human. He has tattoos yes but some of them are so incredibly beautiful! He has praying hands on his ankle and Jesus's face on his calf. Aren't those normal tattoo's that Christian's get?  I believe Justin is a good hearted man with a lot to offer to this world. He comes from a great Christian family.  I believe he will turn his life around and be one of the greats. He is a very talented artist and he is very smart from what I've seen in his interviews. My advice for you all is .. Instead of "hating" a man you've never met in your life or no anything about. Why don't you pray for him? If you see anybody going down the wrong path or you have somebody in your life that's  making a few mistakes that a lot of people make. Instead of " Judging him/her" Pray for the person . God's not gonna leave Justin go. He's got him. As for being a fan? I don't consider myself a fan. I just respect him completely and I consider myself apart of his prayer army. Because I will continue to pray for this man. Because I know, God will never fail him! & I know that he'll turn out okay .

Woodside Presybterian My Home:)

When I first arrived to Woodside for the first time I was so nervous. It was my first time ever at youth group and I was having an anxiety attack. I didn't know anybody and I felt like my world was crashing down. But after I kept coming to youth group I found love. The thing about Woodside is that there's love everywhere. There's always people with happy faces and happy spirits. You can just feel God as soon as you walk into the door. I feel so accepted by my youth leaders and my friends. This church showed me the love of God and who he is. I can't wait to just continue to grow with this church and just keep giving back. I've been so busy focusing on getting ready for college and  finding a job and just focusing on other things. But I know I really have to buckle down and get back in the loop. All I know is, I've been suicidal free since 9th grade and I'm a Graduate of High school as of this year!  I feel like this church showed me that there is more than just a church. There's love. When you go to a church you should feel loved and accepted for who you are especially  where you come from. I feel that from Woodside. I feel supported everywhere I go. If I'm having a bad day I'll turn to my friends and youth group leaders  for advice and they'll usually give me a bible verse I never even knew existed. Woodside gave me my life back. I just want to thank Woodside and everyone apart of that church for giving me a chance to live again. For Giving me a chance at life and accepting my flaws and understanding them. Woodside has taught me I am Jesus's feet and hands. My Job is to do my part as a follower of him. My Job is to help and serve others as much as I can. I'm starting to do that now that I have a blog and through my facebook. I'm hoping I can do more than just help people through my computer screen. If your looking for a loving church full of great people please come to Woodside:) Thank you God for giving me this church and these people. Because there your hands and feet and each and every one of them are doing what you have called them to do. Love you Woodsider's We are a complete family<3. Love you all!

Addiction

Drug addiction is a very soft spot for me. I know a lot of people who are addicted to drugs. It makes me sad but at the same time I understand there pain. When somebody becomes addicted to drugs there hiding there pain in the drug. Usually every addict has been somewhere dark and scary. Usually they have been through more than any of us could have ever imagine. I thought about being an addictions counselor for a long time but I thought maybe I shouldn't because I've never been addicted to drugs. But I do understand the pain that addicts feel. It's awful, Doing drugs is basically killing yourself. It's suicide. But addicts don't realize that. I have complete hope and love for addicts in the world. I don't hate them or despise them. I believe in them. I believe in an addict. Because I know they can beat there addiction. I know they can. I've seen addicts beat there addiction and I know it's possible. But people give up on addicts so fast. But we have to support them. But the most important thing to remember is to not enable the addict. Don't give the addict money, don't drive the addict to the drug dealer. Just support them. If they need somebody to talk to talk to them. Help them feel loved. Because one of the reason's addicts turn to drugs is because of feeling unloved.

If your an addict please know there's hope out there for you. There is hope for you and you can beat your addiction. You beat your pain, You can overcome anything you want to achieve. You have a bright future ahead of you and you can accomplish anything. There are places out there that can help you. There is hope and a future for you. There is somebody who loves you and The Lord loves you. Trust in him always and you can get over addiction. I'll be praying for all of the addicts out there. There's hope for you all. & You all are loved.

Feeling Beautiful

I am not the one to talk. Feeling beautiful is an everyday struggle for me. I have to look in the mirror everyday that I am God's creation and that he made me for a purpose and that he made me perfect in his image. It's been stressful and exhausting growing up in a world where people see beauty for the outside instead of the heart. But people don't understand God's love for us and he doesn't care if we don't look like a model. He calls us beautiful and he loves us just as we are. God states in his word  in Song of Solomon 4:7  You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you. God made you. He wants you to be happy with yourself. It hurts him to see us unhappy with our bodies. He wants to see us happy with who we are. When I used to do therapy my therapist told me to write everything I hate about myself on a piece of paper. So I did, I wrote about my nose, my weight, my eyes , my hair. And then she had me crumble it all up and throw it as hard as I could into the trash can. It was like throwing all of the baggage and pain I had in the trash where it belongs. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! please never ever think otherwise. You are so beautiful in God's eyes. This world will try to make you into something your not. But always come back to God's word and read it and remember that he loves you. Don't let celebrities and models define who you are. Let GOD define your beauty. He is your loving father and he will never abandon you. If you need prayer about your beauty and feeling beautiful. Contact me:) But don't forget to reach out to God and his word for he has all of the answers you are looking for. Stay pretty!!!- Amanda.

Anxiety

I suffer with an Anxiety disorder. It is something people rarely know about me. Only my family and my close friends. What most people don't know is that it's difficult for me to do certain things. I have trouble going to concerts especially if I'm high up because I'm afraid of heights.  I have anxiety in big crowds especially when I go out with friends. It's just something that scares me. I worry about everyday things such as turning the stove on because it's gas. I'm afraid the house is going to blow up. And at night sometimes it gets so bad that my hands start to shake and I feel nauseous so I have to get in the shower and relax. I know a lot of people suffer with anxiety like I do. I suffer from panic attacks as well. But what people need to understand about people with anxiety. Is that it feels like your going to have a heart attack. You get hot and sweaty and your heart feels like it's going to fall out of your chest and you can't breathe. Nobody understands how it feels to have real anxiety. It is one of the worst feelings in the world. But if your suffering with anxiety. Here are some verses that has helped me and healed my heart

Philippians 4:6-7

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

1 Peter 5:6-8

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.  Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

 

Psalm 56:3

When I am afraid, I will trust in you.

 

 

God will take your anxiety away. You may always have anxiety whether you like it or not. But if you have God what could you lose? Pray & Seek him and he will deliver you. If you suffer from anxiety every day. Pray before you do something that causes anxiety. Trust in The Lord. He's got you in his hands and nothing will take you away from him. The only person that can separate you from God is yourself. You are strong and wonderful and don't give up. God's got you:)

Praying

I'm one of those people who believe in the power of prayer. Everytime I pray I get an answer from God. But sometimes it's not an answer I want to hear. Sometimes his answer is to close a door for me. But usually he always opens another one. Whether it be harder than before. He never leaves you hanging when it comes to prayer. Prayer is a beautiful thing and you might get frustrated sometimes but hear me out when I say this. God never leaves you alone. He is always there and he has a bigger plan for you than what you have for yourself.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I have plans for you, plans to prosper not to harm you but to give you a future and a hope.

Stay beautiful and keep fighting:) Remember to pray every night. You never know the kind of answer God will give you.

Money..

When I think about Money I think of fancy cars, I think of a big house and I think of amazing vacations. Then I begin to think that I want money. So I try by entering in the lottery and buying scratch offs. Keep in mind that I never ever win but I still try because I'm desperate to be rich. Isn't that what everybody wants? To be rich?. It seems like it. I have family members talking about money, friends talking about money and I've even talked to strangers talking about money. Everyone has this idea in the world that it's about money . That it's about the biggest paycheck and getting the best Job. But I honestly could careless. Yeah sometimes I do wish I had money. When I think about it, it would be nice. But would I really be all that happy? I'll still have to deal with the same people that get under my skin. I'll still have to deal with school and every day normal things. In the bible it states that money is the route of all evil. Which I completely think it is. That's why you see famous people going down the drain and going down the wrong path. Money does NOT make you happy. But I do know something and somebody that gives you happiness. Not by a paycheck but because of his grace and love. & That's the Lord himself. If you have God. Why do you need tons of money? In my heart I know God will provide and he will not let my family fall. If I have God why do I need 1 million dollars? Money does not give me happiness. The Lord does. He provides us with Joy and Advice and Fatherly love. I don't need tons of money to be happy cause God is my fortune. He is my refuge and He keeps me safe and loves me and knowing I have him in my life. Gives me happiness. If God wants you to win 1 million dollars. Then he'll let it happen. But if he doesn't there's obviously a reason why. He might automatically know you can't handle the money. Maybe he has a bigger plan for you than winning the lottery.  Don't obsess over trying to win money. God will provide for you and he will never leave you nor forsake you. Money does Not bring you happiness God does:) Have a good day!

Sing, Sing, Sing

I began singing when I was in first grade. I would play with my barbies and sing really loud . I thought I was good. In 2nd grade I had my first performance ever. A couple of my friends were my backup dancers and I was the lead singer. It was my school's talent show. When I got up there I was super nervous but I got through it and it was an amazing feeling. I then sang solo for the first time in 3rd grade. I sang a song by Avril Lavigne . It was an amazing experience. I began getting better and better every year. I knew I had a voice in me and I just wanted to perform every chance I got. Sixth grade came and I decided I wanted to begin singing lessons. So I talked it over with my mom and we started up the singing lessons and I got better. Way better. I started singing a lot. Some more school talent shows and then at a restaurant . Singing became my passion. I then was lead by God to sing in my churches band. I didn't know what to expect but when I'm up on that stage I feel an overwhelming love. I feel God within me . My heart beats fast, I start getting hot and I just feel like I can be myself. I feel like I'm home. I feel God when I sing more than any other thing I do for God. I feel his power when I sing to him. I feel his grace. I feel his mercy. I feel his love. I feel his strength and I just feel that he's proud of me for singing. & I know that what I'm doing in the moment is right and it's what he wants me to do. I can't explain to you the feeling I feel when I'm done. I'm just happy. I'm grinning from ear to ear and I feel blessed. Nobody can take that away from me. Singing in my church's band makes me feel free. Not because I'm singing for a crowd. But because it's a time when I have personal time with The Lord. Personal time I never get anywhere else besides when I'm on stage. I know God has given me this gift. I've been using it. Singing to God and being on stage is my drug. It's my happy place. It's better than any feeling I could ever tell you.

If you have a Voice within you. Whether it be a singing voice or just a voice of strength within you. Don't be afraid to use it. God will be beside you. He will help you and He will give you the strength you need to use that voice and the ability to use your voice not for your own but for those around you. USE your Voice. You never know what could happen if you start believing in your Voice. You could really go far:)

One of the things I struggle with

One of the things I'm not proud of has to be my anger. My anger is apart of me and I feel like no matter how hard I try to control it nothing works. I pray about my anger and I try my best to let it all go to God. But sometimes I just can't control it. People don't understand what it's like to be angry. When your angry words fly out of your mouth. Fake words that aren't how you feel about that person. Anger just comes alive in me and it's something I wish I could control. It's the only thing I wish I could fix about myself. But I think I've come to terms with that it's always going to be in me. Even though I'm not angry at my life. I just have "triggers". & the people around me cause the triggers. Then the anger fills me. I think I just have to learn how to block out the triggers. Because what I learned is that there's always going to be triggers around me. I just have to learn to ignore them. I can't change people around me that cause these " triggers" of anger. But I can learn to block out the triggers. I think the best way to block them out is to just walk away from the situation and do what I'm doing now. Write a blog.

There ya go, There's something you didn't Know about me and that's fine. Because when you meet me you think I'm a very nice person. Which I am. I'm a great person full of love and filled with the holy spirit. But I'm not perfect and there are some things I have to change. My anger is one of them. I know God will get me through it. I'm a lot better than I used to be and I'm a lot happier than I used to be. My anger has gotten better as the years have went on. But it's still an everyday struggle for me. And everyday I face it & it's hard but I get through it. If your suffering with anger. Your angry at something whether it be people ( family, friends, neighbors) Or your angry at life ( school, work, tragedy). Just know that there's a God who loves you very much. I struggle with my anger every day and I have to take little baby steps to get better. But trust me when I say that it does get better and that you will overcome your anger. It's been years that I've dealt with my anger but it's gotten easier every year. The bible states that
-John 14:27 - Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

God gives us peace and takes our anger away. It does not mean that we wont go through our anger every day. It just means he will guide us through it a little piece at a time. I'll be praying for you:)

Buying Our Parents Pizza Hut...

Parents are great. At least I know mine are. They have put up with me. They have seen me sad and angry , They've dealt with my mood swings and all of the above. They really helped me and I'm so blessed to have them. I felt generous tonight and decided to buy my parents pizza hut for dinner. I had the money and I felt after all they've done for me this month they deserve a good dinner. Of course it wasn't something extravagant but I thought maybe It would be nice to treat them to dinner. After all they raised me right? . My advice to you is to be nice to your parents. Do something nice for them. Take them out to dinner or a movie or if you don't have the money to do so just clean the house or make dinner with the food you already have in your fridge. Trust me it'll be worth it.


Your parents are a blessing. Like it or not God gave them to you for a reason. Whether you have a single mom or a single dad or both of your parents in your life. Do something nice for them. Show them you care:)

Blessings- Amanda:)

5 Life Lessons

1. Never Give Up- It's easy to want to give up in this world but don't because if you do you'll never see the light at the end of the tunnel.

2. Stay Strong - To me staying strong is not hiding your feelings. It's being strong enough to bring out your feelings. If you let out your feelings you'll find peace. Trust me on this.

3. Love your life. Everyone's life is different. Some people don't have a house or enough food. But sometimes they are still happy. Just like kids with autism they are usually so happy. Because they love there life no matter the circumstance. You should Love your Life. God gave it to you for a reason. Embrace it.

4. Friends- Don't be friends with somebody if they treat you badly and if they don't accept your belief.  Even if they don't believe they should accept what you believe.

5. Parents- They are your parents whether you like it or not. They have been given to you by God. You should respect them even if they don't respect you. They may make you angry. Maybe your parent isn't really apart of your life. So what? He/She is still your parent. Don't hold onto that anger of them not being in your life. There's always a reason why. I have a hard time with my mom we fight all the time. But I try my best and that's what you should do. Try your best to respect your parents.

Have a good day today:)

Boys & Bullying

Boys& Bullying

 

Bullying is one of those soft subjects for me. It's something I can't stand and it's something I'm very on the fence about. I began getting bullied in 4th grade. I began gaining weight around that time and I began getting called the word " fat". Fat to me is difficult to hear. Because nobody should be called that word ever in there life. I felt beautiful up until people began calling me names. I would hide my tears back but each day I wanted it to just end. The bullying got worse. I just felt like I never had any real friends my whole life. But the weird thing was, It was mostly guys calling me names. & It lasted probably until about 10th grade. Why are guys calling girls fat? Why are guys not respectful? No guy should ever call a girl fat. & No guy should ever make a girl feel like she's not worth it. All I've met and seen are guys who judge girls by there looks. There not thin enough, they don't have straight teeth. But the weird thing is. Even if her attitude is awful a guy will still date her because she's what guys call " beautiful". I don't know why there are guys out there that make fun of girls. I can't tell you that one because I'm not a guy and I don't understand where there coming from. But I do want to tell you any guy that judges a girl off of her looks are not worth your time. YOU are God's creation. YOU are beautiful. Any guy that doesn't see the beauty in you does not deserve what a GREAT person you are. I can promise you there are guys out there that do not care what you look like. & There are guys out there that will accept you for you. I know this because I have guys in my family who are good role models and I see the way they treat there wives and fiancé. There are guys out there. Trust me. I've had a hard time growing up dealing with my weight because it's been up and down my whole life. But Praying and believing in the lord has gotten me through. You got this girl. A guy should hold the door out for you, A guy should call you beautiful and respect your body and your boundaries, A guy should respect your parents wishes. If a guy does all of those things you found a seal deal. Don't let any guy treat you bad. Don't let any guy's words get to your head. Your great girl and you ROCK this . If your reading this I'll be praying for you. I'll pray that you will find the guy of your dreams and that the bullying will stop. Because eventually it will. Your are LOVED. Have a good night and get some sleep. For another day you will face tomorrow will be even harder today. But you got support! Love you<3.

This is the beginning

This is the beginning of something wonderful. If somebody told me I'd be doing this well  mentally six years ago I would've thought you were crazy. Six years ago it was a dark road for me. I had no where to turn . I thought I would have no life. Nobody to talk to. I thought I was completely alone. I was in a fog. Every day I would wake up and come up with a new lie to make myself feel better. I would say mean things to friends, start rumors and hurt people like people have hurt me. I thought maybe if I hurt other people by words it would make people understand how I've been hurt. But really it just made me angry. It really started when my grandfather passed away on my birthday. Everything was so happy with him. He was always making me laugh and although I was young and it was my birthday when he passed he was still a memory I will never forget. I would just go to school and put on a face. I had no friends. I would swing on the swing set and sing as loud as I could. Because singing was the only thing that made me feel whole. I was so behind . Way more behind than any other student. I couldn't even use scissor's the correct way. Math was the big one and still is. Gym was  also awful. I was suffering from anxiety even when I was little. It started in 1st grade and grew until I began to snap. Life just wasn't going good for me. When I was growing up I heard about God. I went to Sunday School and my family were Christian's. But I never understood growing up about God and honestly I wasn't even sure he was there to be honest. I just thought my family was crazy. When I got into 6th grade the war began. I lost friends all over the place. I lost site of who I was. The lies were continuing the pain I was enduring was still there. At such a young age I was developing what I didn't know or understand. I was developing Bipolar. Little did I know I had all of these disorders but I found out them later. I would cry in class on a daily basis,  I would get bullied for my weight especially by guys older, younger and the same age. I felt alone. I was super scared and I had so much anxiety that everyday during school I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. I then started to think of suicide. There was just pain all around me . A dark cloud. I didn't feel loved one bit. Not from friends, family , God or anybody because I felt like nobody could understand what I was going through and where I've been. I've ruined people and I've hurt people. How could I have moved on? . I wanted to die. Every bit of ounce in me didn't want to live. When I would yell at my mom I would told her I wanted to die and that nobody would be happy if I was gone. My family are great people. I put them through a lot but even they were blind to notice the signs of my depression, anger, anxiety and my suicidal thoughts. Nobody knew what was going on inside of my head. But the people that knew were school counselors and teachers. There the ones that made a difference in my life. They talked to me about what was going on in my head. I couldn't hold it in any longer.  They got me help and I went to this place called foundations. It was not for me. I just felt so weird and uncomfortable. So they put me on meds and kept me going. After about a month the meds would stop working and I would have to switch. It was awful. But the worst part was when I went back to school after my treatment people began to treat me differently. I was known as the "crazy" one in school. When really all I wanted from somebody was a big hug and to know everything was going to be okay. The years went on . Still on meds. I ended up going to treatment 6th, 8th and 9th grade. I just thought I would be in and out of mental health centers my whole life. What I noticed is nobody came at me with love. They came at me with "She needs help" Or "She's not normal". But I wanted everyone to shut up and give me piece. But my parents were great they were really my hero's. After 9th grade I decided to start this school called Palcs. It's a cyberschool they have proms and graduation and any normal thing a regular public school would have. But nobody wanted me to change. Even my friends told me I was doing wrong. But I knew in my heart I had to make this decision. Cyberschool changed me and gave me my hope back. Then I began to find a wonderful church named Woodside Presbyterian. What a beautiful church. I call it my second " home". The most loving people I have ever met attend there. My youth group leaders have been amazing to me. & I've met two of my best friends in the whole world. Ever since I found God things have changed. But I think one of the things people miss understand about finding " God". Is that when you get saved people say your whole life should change. The circumstances your in don't change. But the person you are changes. You are no longer the same person you were. That's what people need to understand. God changes you & You change your life because your mind is at ease. God does answer prayer though. The power of prayer is stronger than I could ever let you in on. You really have to experience it yourself. Your prayer always get's answered. It's either God shuts a door and tells you know. Or he opens a big door and says yes. Either way he loves you and he knows what's best for you. My point is. I came from a very dark place. I want to inspire others and show others that there is a God out there. & Yeah people may think I'm " Crazy" for believing in something bigger than myself.  Believe me I've gotten enough negative stuff from unbelievers that I know for sure they think I'm crazy. But that's fine with me. Because I'd rather be crazy and an outcast for believing in God. Then someone who fits in and parties and is unhappy. Everyone has something there unhappy about on the inside. Everyone's hearts are broken and everyone has been through some tough things in there life. But no matter what YOU can become something. YOU have the power to change you. Whether you believe in God or not just know that YOU are loved. YOU are worthy. and Worth every penny in the world. Please just trust me your not going to give up. Because if you give up that just means you can't grow. Pain makes us into better people. Pain brings us happiness. If we don't see pain or darkness in our lives we are never going to understand how strong we are and what we are capable of as people. YOU have the power to make a difference just by being somebody's friend. Never give up. Fight. If you need anything message me on facebook:) Stay beautiful everyone!