My Grandmother & What She Means To Me.

19 years ago I came into the world and met this beautiful lady. She changed my diapers and came to every birthday and holiday and always tried her best to give me the best present possible even if she didn't have the money. Over the years I have grown up to admire my Grandmom. She has been through so much. Raising six kids basically by herself and then going through a divorce. That's a lot to handle at one time. She has taught me a lot about life. She always encourages me and tells me I'm beautiful. She always tells me that " looks are only skin deep". I always tell her what's going through my head and she listens, she cares and she understands. I tell her everything, I talk to her about boys, school and my insecurities. I am not afraid to tell her anything because I know she will keep it a secret and never tell my mom unless it was an emergency. I always have a great time with her. We laugh, we joke around and do girl things. We watch crazy chick flicks and eat tons of food. I always treat her out to dinner or buy her something while were out. She's my best friend and I couldn't be more thankful that I have such a great relationship with her. We have never gotten into a fight EVER. We always get along. I think it's because she trusts me and she never puts me down. She always encourages me and accepts my flaws. She really believes in me and who I am. She is the only person in my life who has never made me angry. She's the only person that has never put me down. It is nice to know I have somebody in my life who just loves me for me and no matter what there, there. I trust her and she trusts me. We always vent to each other. I am not afraid to tell her something. I tell her everything and I am so happy I can trust someone. We have a relationship unlike any other and I am more than thankful to have a best friend by my side. She is like my second mom and if I didn't meet her I would be completely lost. I can't wait to tell my future children about her. I can't wait to hopefully have her move in with me someday. I want to give her the life she always deserved and I hope I can do that for her someday. I thank God for this woman. She is my hero, my best friend and somebody I will always appreciate and look up to.

How Liberty University Changed My Life Forever

A long time ago about three months before my high school senior year ended I was going crazy thinking about what college to go to. I thought about bucks and everybody was trying to persuade me to go there. I thought about Cairn and Holy Family but Liberty was always in the back of my mind. I have extended family that did there online program. I have also had both of my cousins attend the college itself. I visited the college when I was in sixth grade because I went to visit my sister and it was seriously so beautiful. I loved the campus, I loved the church, I loved how they pick roommates for you. Everything about Liberty made me happy. That was until I saw the price. Liberty is 20,000 dollars a year. That is not including my books, my car and gas, and food. To me that was just an overload of things that I couldn't process. Cairn was way too expensive as well and Holy family was even more than that. I felt like God was shutting multiple doors for me and I honestly felt like my only hope was Bucks. Bucks is a great school but they did not offer the degree I wanted and I knew that it wasn't the right choice for me. I fell upon Liberty's online program as I was looking for options to see about financial aid. That was it, they completely had me sold. For four classes it costed me 8,000 dollars. Not including my books but I payed for my books with my own money. I didn't have to spend money on gas driving too and from class. They also have an online student even every year in the beginning. I could also take trips around the world and I can also attend graduation and walk to receive my diploma along with the other students who attend there. I also was getting the degree I wanted and the higher quality education I needed with my spiritual journey and academics. When I first started Liberty I began to see how high school taught me nothing. I didn't know anything about APA or Citations or even about grammar that well. Liberty taught me all of those things and yes I have a long way to go but I love it. I have also stumbled upon the best professors I have ever met. My professor's have been so nice and understanding of my issues. They listen to my concern and give me very good criticism. I have filled a bond with my professors and to see them change every 8 weeks makes me sad but also happy because it's like a new beginning. I have to admit the work is demanding. Some of my professor's have been tougher than others. But I love them regardless. I also am apart of a study group on facebook and my journey is similar to other people's journeys. People pray for me, the support is unbelievable. I feel like people are actually giving me a chance. I feel grace, hope and love. My academic advisor is so helpful in helping me understand things. I have also learned about the bible, God and what it means to help somebody and how to help somebody. God has really given me Liberty as a gift. I'm praying that I can save enough money so I can live down there and attend the actual college instead of online. I have already met amazing people from my school, I am sure I'll meet more. My college is a blessing to me and because of it I am able to get my degree that I have always dreamed of. I know it hasn't been easy and I have cried when I was scared of a failing grade. However, I know through Christ I can accomplish many things. I am who I am because of him and I am thankful everyday. If you are looking for an affordable college, I highly recommend Liberty <3.

Future Bachelor Of Science in Psychology Christian Counseling Graduate<3.

How I Will Raise My Kids

Even though I don't want kids until I'm 28-30... I still am excited that one day I will be a mom and that I will get to make my own choices as a mother and decide what is best for my child. My mother and father raised me to be a strong, confident person and I will take some of the parenting skills I learned from them and apply them to my child. Growing up I suffered a lot and I pray that my future children never have to go through what I did. I am praying and hoping I can give them a safe and comforting environment and a loving family. Because, there were times growing up where I didn't get those things. I made the decision that I am going to love my child no matter what they choose. If they happen to be Gay, I will love them. If they end up on Drugs ( I hope not) but if they do I will love them. If they hate me, I will love them. If they happen to move out young, I will love them. If they get bad grades , I will love them. If my future daughter happens to become pregnant at 16, I will love her. Regardless of what my children choose. I will love them and accept them no matter what. I pray for my future children everyday. I pray that they find God in there lifetime and really learn the foundation of life. I pray that they choose there friends wisely and that they make the right choices. I don't know what the future holds... Will I have a whole bunch of kids or will I have 2 or 1? Will I have boys or girls or a mix of both? I do not know. All I know is I will be happy with what God will give me and I will love my children no matter what.

My View On The Bachelor...

The bachelor is one of my favorite shows!! ...Chris is one of my favorite people and I am confident that he is a great  man. It is the woman that I question more then anything. My favorite on the show is Becca Tilley... I like her because she seems to have a great heart, she's beautiful and conservative. Not many girls keep there virginity today, and that is beautiful to see in a woman. It shows that she hasn't been sleeping around and that she has stuck her ground. She is my number one pick, and I'm praying to God he picks her. I have also had a problem with the show though, This is ABC's casting I have an issue with. Chris is a farmer, and most of the girls that I have seen on the show aren't into farming. Most of them are into what there outfit or makeup looks like...then anything else and honestly I think Chris needs a farm girl. He needs a girl that is not afraid to get her hands dirty and that wouldn't mind living in Arlington. Personally, I could live there because my family has a farm and I've seen farming first hand and what it takes to be a farmer. Could I see myself out there all the time? No, but I could see myself marrying a farmer for sure. These girls in my mind, have no idea what is going to take place. A farmer works all day long and is exhausted at the end of the day. I don't think some of the girls are going to be able to grasp that. I am a little upset with ABC's casting because there was not one farm girl or country girl I should say on the show. There was Tara, Which I thought she was perfect for him but she blew it by getting drunk. I just wish ABC would have looked more into getting a country girl for Chris. However,  I do think the final three are my favorite! I love Kaitlyn, Becca and Whitney. I wish them nothing but the best. I pray Chris makes the right choice and he is happy. To me that is all that matters, he came on the show for a reason and that's to find love. I pray he found it and that he got the girl of his dreams. Kudos to you Chris! For being a good guy and getting through this long process! You are in my prayers!

Dear High school girls...

High school can be really difficult at times. You have to keep your grades up, make your parents happy but also deal with fitting in and finding a guy to accept you for you. It is a very difficult time in a young girls life. Here is some of my advice.

1. You are beautiful the way you are- Even though you think there are girls that look 10 times better then you, who cares because you are perfect the way you are. You don't need to look a certain way to get a guy. The right guy will see you for how God made you and not how makeup makes you look. Learn to love yourself, because that shines through more than anything.

2. Don't pressure yourself that much- Of course it's good to have good grades and maybe get on a sports team but you have to do what makes you happy. Follow your heart and dreams and don't do these things to impress your parents, do them for you. Don't pressure yourself because then you will get stressed and that's not healthy. Follow your heart, go with your gut.


3. Watch your friends- Let's face it, not all friends are loyal. You are going to go through friends like flies. Friends come and go but you just have to remember the ones that will always be there. A girl is probably gonna start a rumor about you or make you feel little. Just remember she's immature and that won't get her anywhere in life. Be you, Be happy and be a good friend. If your a good friend then that's all that matters

4. Keep your innocence- There is a guy that is going to come along that is going to sweep you off your feet. However, you gotta be cautious. A guy is going to hurt you, it's what happens in high school. A lot of guys will try and take your virginity in high school or ask you to "send" pictures. But don't, Do not lose that precious part about you. Be the girl you want your future daughter to look up to. Don't be the girl that's sending guys pictures and dating everyone and sleeping with everyone. Stick to being pure, and maybe when you have been with somebody for awhile and you want to lose your virginity to him. Make sure you love him, that's what counts. Do not feel pressured to do any of these things. If a guy is saying things like " Send me a picture your beautiful and I wanna see you" Or " I'm not going to date you if you won't sleep with me". Forget him, because he is not the right guy for you and he does not respect your body or who you are.

5. Be careful of the parties- There are high school parties and yes it gets pretty crazy. Beware and be careful. If you do go, make sure you go with a group of friends you trust and that you know can take care of you. Make sure you have your phone fully charged and know that you can call your parents anytime. If you do not feel comfortable driving home with your friends because they have been drinking. Call your parents or an older sibling or anyone else you may trust. If the cops come and you get caught don't be afraid to talk to your parents. Yes, you might get in trouble but just learn your lesson for the next time. Another tip is beware of your surroundings. If you are drinking ( I hope you aren't) But if you are, do not let go of your drink all night. Make the right decisions and go with your gut feeling wherever you go.

6. Be smart in making decisions and never forget who you are. Do not change for somebody else or to get somebody to like you. Be who you are and that's all that matters. High school is tough but fun at the same time. Cherish these moments, because they will be gone before you know it. You are all beautiful in your own way. Be the lady you want your future daughter to be. & Never forget that God loves you more than you love anybody else!

Meet My Three Best Friends.. Cindy, Kasey & Leah:)

Kasey Driscoll and I have been friends since elementary school but we got really close in high school. She has always been there for me, She has supported me in every single thing I have done and I couldn't be more thankful to have her! We always have a good time when were together and she makes me laugh and brings out the best in me!! I can't believe  e are adults now making grown up decisions but it feels like just yesterday we were in middle school. The years have flown by, but I am so glad I have a best friend that I can count on and who understands me! Can't wait to see what the future holds for the both of us and where we are going to be in the next few years! I have no doubt she will be doing great things with her life!

Leah and I met in youth group when I was in 10th grade. I'll never forget when I met her, I was so nervous walking into the church but she was the first one to let me sit with her and her friends. She has been nothing but a good friend to me and I couldn't be more thankful to have a friend in my life who loves God just as much as I do! We hangout when we can and when she's home from college, I am so proud of her for being a missionary and really being God's hands and feet. I know I can count on her for anything and she will be there for me! I am so Glad God has given me such a good friend! I  am blessed to have her and I will always be there for her!

Cindy and I are actually cousins but we are more like best friends. She has been there through every bad thing I have ever been through and I know I can count on her. She has given me the chance to be a Godmother to her son Mason and I couldn't be more thankful for that. She has such a kind heart and a wonderful personality! We have so many good memories from growing up! I know she's married and a mommy now but no matter what we will always be best friends. She is a blessing and she will be the maid of honor in my wedding and the godmother to my future child. 

I am blessed to have all three of you as my best friends. I wouldn't be who I am without you three!!

The struggle I have had being the "nice girl"

In elementary school I was a really horrible person. I made up tons of lies and hurt a lot of people. I regret it so much, but I had to learn that I can't go back and change the past. The only thing I could control was the future, so I decided to change. I started to be nice to whoever I met. I started to smile at everyone and carry my head held high and just really try and give my effort into being a good person. I began to reach out to whoever I could to help them. I prayed and prayed and asked God to show me a sign of what kind of person I should be. He didn't give me a sign he caused things to happen in my life. Me being suicidal, drug issues in the family and being bullied. All of those things  made me learn what it's like to have a broken heart. Because I've been through so much I can reach out to people and help them because I can relate. Being a nice person really helped me at first, it really helped me with my confidence, deciding on my major for college and I really just felt awesome. However, it hasn't always been easy. People do not appreciate what I do for them. I've had rumors spread about me, I've been made fun of, people think I'm " weird" because I post a lot about Jesus. When honestly, I just try and be the best person I can be. I do my best to be nice to everyone because I know what it's like to be treated like crap. It's terrible that a nice person like me get's a lot of hate in different directions from different kinds of people. I just try and love everyone like Jesus would. It is difficult being the nice girl but I wouldn't want it any other way. I know who I am as a person and that I have a very unique personality. I try not to let people's words or how they act towards me affect me. I know I'm a good girl and I deserve to be treated right. It just gets very draining at times. Putting my effort into so many people's lives when they want nothing to do with me. Sometimes I honestly believe that people could careless about me.  But I keep in the back of my mind what would Jesus do. I live my life everyday for him and my number goal is to make another human being happy. So even If I don't get treated how I should, I am still going to continue to have a heart of gold and give back to as many people as I can. I will always be there for all of you, even if I don't get the respect back. 

* Praying for all of you.

I am truly a Daddy's Girl

My dad is my best friend, my rock and somebody I look up to greatly. He was the first guy that ever stole my heart as a little girl. He is always there for me, fighting for me in every way possible. He has always shown me his heart, and his heart is made of Gold. I don't know anyone with as big of a heart like my dad. He tries to help everybody the best he can, he listens and would protect anyone. Especially if something happened to any of the girls in our family. He would be the first one to beat up any guy that would do us wrong. Seeing him go through many ups and downs has been difficult. There has been times where I thought about giving up, but he always comes out of those times stronger than ever. He has shown me what a great dad he is and how anybody can change and overcome tough times. We have been through so much together, and our relationship hasn't always been perfect but no matter what we love each other. I will always be there for my dad, I will always respect him and try and be the best daughter possible. I will always try and do my part and be a support system for him. He has done nothing but have shown me what hard work and dedication means. No matter how his back feels during the day, he still goes to work to provide for our family and put a roof above our head. That's a real dad, somebody that works hard to put food on the table for us. And even though there are some times we struggle with money, we always come out of it. He really is an amazing guy and I don't know what I would do without him. There has been times where I have cried over stuff I'm going through and he's always there to listen and give me advice. He's been there for every performance I have ever had, whether it was graduating high school, my talent shows, or singing in church. He has always been there and has been my support system through everything. He has shown me God's love and how great things do come our way if we pray and work our hardest at being the best follower of God we can. My dad has been a blessing to this world, he has helped so many people become who they are. I know I can count on him to be there for me through my tough times. I always said I want my future husband to be like my dad. Somebody who works hard, treats woman correctly and loves his family. My dad inspires me because he has been through so much and no matter what he get's through his trials and fights everyday. It is not easy for him and I know that. Some days he wakes up tired from the day before, Some days his back swells, but he does everything he can to put a smile on our faces. I am so thankful for my dad, I know God gave him to me for a reason. He is a great grandfather to my niece, a great father to my sister and I. He is also a great best friend to my mother. I wouldn't change our relationship for anything. I will be there for him as he get's older , I can't wait for him to be a grandfather to my future children and a best friend to whatever Guy comes my way. I can't wait for him to walk me down the isle on my special day, & To have that father daughter dance I've always dreamed of. I will cherish our relationship forever. I am officially a daddy's girl. No matter what happens or where I end up, no matter who I marry. My dad will always be my number 1 and nothing will ever change that. Here's a thank you to my childhood hero. I am proud of all you have accomplished, and I am super proud to be your daughter.


Life lesson: If you have a dad in your life be there for him, love him and accept his flaws.  If you have a dad that hasn't been that great to you, work on being the best you possible and pray for him. If you don't have a dad at all, pray for him and try to understand him. If he doesn't want to be in your life that's okay, just work on you and being the mother/father to your kids that your dad never was.
You are all in my prayers as you go through life's trials. Things will get better, Be a light to everyone. If you carry the light in you , better things will continue to shine through.

Dear Bully...

Dear ignorant, selfish and rude person. You have tried to make my life a living hell. You have tried to bring me down. You have tried to ruin my life and make me feel less than zero. Ya wanna know something? At one point you actually did. You won at one point in my life. You made me depressed, angry and suicidal. However, then I decided to ignore you. Of course there was times when I wanted to unleash my anger and give you a piece of my mind. But I stayed my cool, and I let you treat me like trash. I let you treat me like trash because I figured you were just an evil person. I decided to kill you with kindness and be nice anyway. You are disgusting! You are disgusting because you don't know how to treat somebody. You say mean things, you start rumors, you make somebody feel like a big loser. When in fact your the one that's a loser! How does that make you feel? Making somebody feel like crap for no reason? I know somewhere deep inside of you it bothers you how you treat me. It bothers you how you treat other people, but you can't "help" it because you wanna fit in. Either that or you don't even know how to treat people because you were never shown. You have made me exhausted. I fell to the ground because of you, you beat me up. Made me feel useless and unworthy. You made me feel ugly...How about I say your ugly, gross and pathetic all in one? Because making fun of somebody makes you every bad name in the book. I actually feel really sorry for you, because I know your struggling. I know somewhere deep down inside of you, your heart hurts. I bet you feel suffocated because of something that's going on in your life. That is not my fault, why make fun of somebody for being a human. It does not make you any bigger, smart or more attractive. It makes you look like a horrible person. Is that how you want to be remembered? I know it's not, I know you just want to be accepted and loved. Being a bully gets you nowhere in life, It makes you become a hated person. Stop bullying, Stop making people feel like a waste of life. Stop putting other people down to fill your  insecurity.  I know your not just making fun of me, Your making fun of everybody around you. Your making fun of the innocent people who are struggling themselves. I wanna tell you something, you mean NOTHING. Do you like that? Do you like what I just said? No it probably makes you angry but that's how you make me feel. No matter what I will always be nice to you, I will always show I care because that's how a good person acts. I will love and accept you no matter how you decide to treat me. I will throw out every bad word and rumor you ever started. I am beautiful, strong and intelligent. You will just be another person that didn't succeed in making me insecure.


This is dedicated to anybody that has ever been bullied. I know what it's like to be in your shoes and feel worthless. Just know that there is a bigger plan for your life and your not any word the bully describes or speaks. You are worth more than anything and do not ever think otherwise. If you are the bully I encourage you to change, be the person your parents want you to be:)

God bless!

How Marriage Is Supposed To Be

Marriage is beautiful, it is where you meet somebody and you fall in love and you spend the rest of your life with that person. Marriage to me is God's way of giving us our other half here on earth. I believe he gives us our significant other to have joy. That's what marriage is supposed to be, it's supposed to be full of laughter and full of joy. Marriage should be the way God intended it to be. However, marriages are failing all over the world. Couples are getting divorced left and right, sometimes people stay married but are never really in love with that person. Marriage is failing in our world and I wish I saw more love, instead of divorce. My grandmother always told me you know right away if you found the one your supposed to be with. She always said that there should be a spark between you and that person. I truly believe that, If there is no spark, if you didn't look at that person and say "wow she's beautiful" or " Wow I really like him/her". Then in my opinion you shouldn't be married. You have to be willing to wake up to that person everyday and love them no matter what. Your going to see your husband or wife in ways you have never seen them before. You will see your husband/wife cry, get angry, how they eat, what they wear etc.. It is different then being in a relationship with somebody. Marriage is taking a vow and saying you will spend the rest of your life with that person. Marriage is a love that is bigger than this world. However, marriage sometimes does not stay perfect forever. There are going to be times where you get sick of that person. You will get angry at that person. You will do or say things you regret. But how you stay in love in my opinion is never forgetting the spark you have. Go out on dates once in awhile, say I love you everyday. Write cute letters to your husband/wife. Never forget to appreciate that person and accept them for there flaws. Remember why you fell in love with them in the first place. Marriage should lift you up and make you a better person. It should make you want to get your life together and live freely. If it changes you in a bad way and takes you away from your friends and family, That's when it becomes toxic. Be with somebody who loves you for you, and accepts you. Be with somebody who loves your family...There are so many things I could say about marriage, but one of the most important things in a marriage is having God. When you pray with your husband/wife everyday. When you go to church with that person every Sunday, When you wait until marriage with that person to have sex, When you read devotions everyday and you have that support spiritually. You will feel the love between your other person every single day. & That's when you know it is completely real between you two. I have seen marriages fail, but I also have seen marriages really work out. I pray for all of you in hopes that you find that person. Never settle less than what you deserve. For me, I have really high standards. My future husband cannot drink or smoke and he has to respect my wishes and my family. But most importantly my future husband has to want to be best friends with my dad. That is super important to me. I haven't found my guy yet, I haven't felt a spark with anybody. But I do know there is somebody out there for me. I pray all of you find somebody to spend your life with, I pray you end up with your soul mate. We are all still young experiencing life. If you haven't found that person yet, then it is all about waiting. The exciting part is he or she is out there! I wish you all the best in your future relationships. God loves you and I want you all to remember that.

Meet My Dog Cody...

Meet my baby boy, Cody Matthew McMahon. He is my 7 year old, pure bread Labrador retriever and my best friend. Here's the story of how this little man came into my life. In fourth and Fifth grade I lost both of my dogs. Buddy and Buttercup. They were my first real pets and I loved them dearly. I got really depressed because I lost my babies. So I kept begging my mom and dad to get me another dog. I prayed and prayed and mentioned it everyday. Then to a surprise I woke up and my mom told me we were going to take a "drive" to lancaster. I was like what? That's weird. But we went and we walked around Lancaster and ate at Shady Maple. When my parents told me we were going to somebody's house I was confused. We got there and it was a Mennonite family. I thought great! The family is going to teach us all about being a Mennonite , fun! But then the lady opened the door to the garage and there was a room full of new puppies. I was so happy and excited I could barely breathe. I picked up every puppy and his litter came out and they were all so beautiful. Perfect white little babies. There was a dog named Angelcake who was the last born in the litter. She was so cute and played by herself, she was very chubby. The one I held was shaking, it was a little scared of me but it cuddled with me and I loved him! But we all liked the one my parents were holding so we decided to pick him! We took him home and of course he didn't like the car and the first few nights were rough with potty training and staying up with him at night. He missed his family but we did the best we could. Over the years he has had a bunch of nicknames including, Bubba, Poopah, Code, Booboo . He answers to any of those names. He plays all the time and just wants to cuddle. He comes in my room when I'm studying, he takes a nap and puts his head on my knee. However, the best thing I love about Cody is his love and concern for me. Whenever he sees me cry, Whenever he sees me depressed or angry. He comes over to me, licks my tears and let's me hug him until I'm done being upset. It is the best feeling in the world to have an animal love me for me. He knows what potty means, he knows how to sit, give paw and lay down.  He has had a rough patch, he used to run away when he was younger because he wasn't fixed. He jumps on people because he gets excited and barks at neighbors. Chews almost everything up. But I would not change him for the world. He is my baby and my best friend and I will always love him, I love my Cody Matthew, and even though he can be a real pain. I'd rather have him than no dog at all. It's true when they say Dog's are a man's best friend. They truly are, they are there for you no matter what. I am a blessed girl to have my bubba in my life.