Being The "Bigger" Girl.

Growing up I was always the "Bigger Girl". Ever since I could remember. Probably around Kindergarten is when I started to gain weight. I was put on lots of medication and steroids for my lungs. That in itself made me blow up like a balloon. At a young age I was bullied for my weight. There was one boy who tortured me and who made me feel like I was a complete loser. I remember just laying in my bed at night hoping that I'd grow a little taller so my weight would even out. However, that never happened. I kept gaining weight. My medication, eating habits and lack of exercise I just kept putting on the pounds. I eventually became unhappy with myself. Middle school was one of the most difficult times in my life. That is when I started having crushes on boys and started feeling alone. Only because my friends were so beautiful and small . Guys loved them and I always wondered what was wrong with me. Although at the time I didn't realize that middle school your not really supposed to be in a serious relationship yet haha. In high school I still felt alone. I was bullied in 9th grade for my weight. I remember falling going up the stairs and these boys laughed at me. But little did they know I had a bad morning and wasn't living at home. I had to come to school that day and wipe my tears it was awful. Just to add them laughing at me made my day even worse. I guess over the next few years I just continued to feel ugly. I felt ugly because guys just were never really interested. My  friends started getting serious boyfriends and I was left in the dark. Guys would never want to get to know me. Guys would never be interested and it was because of my appearance. When I looked in the mirror though all I saw was beautiful. So I couldn't understand why other men weren't seeing the same thing. High school was difficult and I will be honest with you all. I've still never had a serious boyfriend. I have tried dating websites and everything in between. None of it has worked. I am very picky but that is only because I feel I deserve the best. In all honesty though right now in my life. I feel like I love myself. Being the bigger girl is hard though. People always tell you that you should loose weight or not wear this and that.  I figured out I can wear those tight pants if I want. If I want to show a little skin I can show it. I am proud to be who I am. I think I am one of the most amazing people in the world. I always put everyone before me and I always try and love everybody. I figured out that if people do not see that in me or they judge me based on my weight. I have figured out that they don't deserve what a beautiful person I am. Being the bigger girl has had it's bad moments. Being bullied by men has been very hard. But through it all I have learned to never judge anyone for there weight. I have learned to love other people and treat them the way they deserve. I have learned to enjoy life and embrace who I am. I don't need to change for anybody. ANY GUY who doesn't see the beauty in me does not deserve me. If you are the bigger girl I encourage you to love yourself. People will always try and tell you things that discourage you and make you feel less than you are. You have to remember though that you are a Queen . Flaunt who you are and never loose sight of your innocence. I probably will always be the bigger girl. However, I am proud of that. Not because I am overweight, but because I have learned to love who I am. I know I'll eventually find a guy who loves me for me. Until then I will keep loving who I am and helping others. I wouldn't change being the bigger girl for the world.