My health right now,

So since the age of 12 years old I have had extreme pain in my legs. Whenever I would walk or run they would have a burning feeling. I thought nothing of it and that it was normal. Around that time I started to become depressed, extremely tired, had suicidal thoughts and just felt plain sick. As the years have gone on the pain has gotten worse. Now 3 years ago the numbness started to start but I didn't think to much of it. I put it out of my head. I kept this all to myself for so many years until I started a running faith based training bible study called Run For God. I really wanted to get through it , get healthy and start my journey to fitness. That wasn't easy I had to stop multiple times because of the pain. My running coach and friend stopped me and squeezed the back of my leg and said you need to go to the doctor. So I made an appointment, it took a few months to get in but once I did they told me it was because of the way I walk and how I don't walk straight...which would make sense but I knew something wasn't right especially with all of my other symptoms that developed over the years. So I saw Penn Medicine...The doctor there begins to tell me he thinks I have Exertional Compartment Syndrome which requires surgery..and I thought oh that's good they found something! Meanwhile my entire family and friends are telling me if I just walk more or eat better it will go away..So he had me see a specialist . So I saw one at Penn and he then began to say I don't think you have that I'm going to do an MRI. Well, the MRI came out to show I had shin splints, Edema, and inflammation in the soft tissues but it was all in the front of the leg..which is the part that doesn't hurt me. So my third appointment came and he recently recommended I see a Rheumatologist . My orthopedic ordered me blood work and sure enough it came back abnormal. My antibody's were so high that it could mean I have deep tissue damage..So was my inflammation. I was happy something came back  my doctor  began to think Lupus...But he tested the kinds of antibody's and that wasn't it. So right now we have no clue what I have.. I have a suspected Autoimmune disease. What I want everybody to understand right now is that what I'm dealing with is taking a huge drag on my shoulders. I can't tell you how scared I am because I know deep down inside of me something is not right. Yes I am overweight, and I know that. You don't have to tell me that EVERY single time I talk to you. Yes, I know it will help if I loose weight. But what none of you understand at all is that I know something is seriously wrong I feel it inside of my body. The doctors think something is wrong as well and they are doing everything they can to figure it out. I can't tell you how TIRED I am of going through this..and I'm TIRED of being told especially by my family that it's because I'm not " moving" enough or it's because I "eat" wrong. If I have an autoimmune disease you will ALWAYS have it no matter what you do. There is NOOOOOO cure. There is medication to HELP it and foods you can eat to REDUCE inflammation. But it will NEVER go away. I am so tired of people telling me the same thing over and over. It makes me feel worse and makes me angry especially because nobody even knows what there talking about. They are not a professional. What I am going through is unbearable and I cannot stand to be in pain anymore.. Let me tell you this.. Imagine being in Wildwood New Jersey Last Summer with friends and family wanting to have a good time. Walking that boardwalk feeling the INCREDIBLE amount of pain. But still continuing to go through with it because I need to get "healthy" as everybody's been telling me. After the boardwalk laying in bed, I cried myself to sleep. Ibuprofen did NOTHING and I took 4-5 pills. I couldn't even walk around the house and cried to who I was with about how much pain I was in. Coming home I couldn't even walk to the fridge to get a drink without walking funny or being in pain. It took me 5 days to recover! 5 DAYS.  Let me tell you another story, Try going to North Carolina and wanting to climb a lighthouse because I want to prove to myself I can DO IT and be like everybody else. Climbing up the stairs and then going numb for the waist all the way down to my feet. Not being able to feel a thing and having to go down because of the feeling I was going to fall or not be able to make it up anymore. I couldn't feel a thing and wabbled all the way down to the bottom and cried.  Try being nauseous at night and not sure if your going to throw up and keeping a bag next to you to help. Try having stomach issues, Try getting lung sicknesses at least 6 times a year. Try having a itchy rash that appears out of nowhere. Have tingling in my feet. Try not being able to shave my legs that well because if I lift one leg up the other one on the bottom goes numb. Try collapsing in your bed cause you just can't take it. Try waking up in the morning feeling like you can't go another day because your so TIRED and you don't know why because you go enough sleep. Try hurting all over to the point of where I can't get up. Try waking up in the middle of the night shaking hysterically and having to run to the bathroom to run my hands under extremely burning hot water or having to take a how shower. NOBODY knows what I go through or how I feel so your opinion is irrelevant. I'm tired of all of you telling me its because of my weight, I KNOW there is a MEDICAL problem going on. I can't tell you how scared I am. But I know in my heart there going to find something and that I have to be prepared for whatever it is. God wouldn't give me anything I couldn't handle and I know that. But I just want you all to understand that this is not easy and I am fighting a daily battle. I just want to feel better. My next appointment is October 10th in the city, please pray for me and my health. I just want this to stop and be over. I just want to feel normal and better. I want to feel pain free. I want my family to love me, instead of making me feel like it's my fault I'm sick. Pray, is all I ask.