My future love story and the dream for my life .

I hope to be married by the age of 30 to the love of my life. I hope to be a mommy, live in my own house or apartment steady in life with a good job. I have many hopes and dreams I wish to accomplish, some of them at times I think I'm not going to achieve them. I keep hope though and just try my best. I just want to be married to my best friend. Someone I can come home to at the end of the day, and if I've had a bad day I can talk to him about it. I want someone I can laugh with but someone who I can be serious with at times. I want someone who will go to church with me, who loves God and I just want him to be supportive of me and my life. But most importantly, I want someone who will be a great dad to our kids. I want him to be really good friends with my family also. Many people say that's fairytale stuff, not many people believe in love or that marriage works out anymore, but I believe love exists. If it didn't we wouldn't look at our parents or in children's eyes and feel so strongly about them and we wouldn't care about those around us. I believe people get a divorce either because they give up on each other and choose not to workout there issues. Or simply because they just weren't meant to be and were not soulmates. My dream for my life is that I just want to be happy. I don't care how much money I'll make or what kind of house I'll live in. I just want to grow with my future family, teach my kids about the importance of life and I want to love God the way I want to with the love of my life. Many people look at future salaries like it's the number one concern. I just wanna be happy, if that means making 14.00 an hour and my kids are taken care of that's okay with me I'll just work more hours. Happiness does not happen based on how much money you have, it is based on who you are surrounded by. I already have a great family, so you add a great guy and my future children I will feel even more loved. Feeling loved by those close to you equals happiness. So yes I have many dreams, I aspire to be a famous musician, a vocal coach, a mommy, a wife, a homeowner and successful. But whatever kind of life and whoever God brings into my life I will accept. I am trusting in his plan for me, and his peace. I will continue to work hard and strive to be better and let the rest of my life fall into places it is meant to be.

The Right Guy

So many young woman today go for just ANY guy. They don't care if he's a bad boy or a cheater.  For me I look for certain qualities in someone. It's not so much about his appearance to me but his attitude and how he carries himself. So many guys today do not respect woman bottom line. They either want them for sex, or brag about them to there friends and dump them after a night of hooking up. It's sad..we have lost our gentlemen. However, I do believe there are good guys out there and that they do exist. My church is full of great, respectful young men. It's just sad woman today are going for the wrong guys. I'll be honest I almost fell for the trap of "wrong guys" multiple times. You just get lonely and feel like none of the good guys want you so you just go for the next available target. Sometimes that next available target isn't so good and in the end you get used. So instead of keeping my guard up on the kind of guy I want I am going to change it. Instead of thinking of the type of appearance I want him to be or the interests I want him to have I'm going to let that go. The kind of guy I want just has to have a relationship with God. He has to just be respectful to me and my family. That is all I care about. Two things are what I want in a guy. It's simple and I pray he comes but so far I haven't met him. I've met men that do not care about woman's feelings and so many of my friends are falling into the trap of just choosing the next best thing because there lonely, and want to feel loved by somebody. I pray for all the guys out there that are using woman for the wrong reasons. Who are inappropriate, disrespectful. I also pray for all of the woman who have to deal with men like that or who fall in love with a guy who doesn't show he cares. We have all been there in places like that. I believe there is a light at the end when it comes to relationships. I truly believe everybody finds the love of there life. If they divorce then they weren't soulmates. True love is real, God created it. I will find my guy and so will all of you ladies. Just respect yourself, stay true to who you are and be yourself. Never change for anyone unless there positive changes to your life. I will never stop praying for my generation. God knows how much I want it to change. 

God bless.!

How Church Should Be In 2016.

Ahh the good old Church. When other people think of church people think of a scary building full of weird people who lie. When I look at church I look at opportunity, love and grace. However, for me it depends on the type of church. I am not into churches who create there own rules. Some churches believe girls should wear skirts, other churches believe in speaking in tongues. We have churches who believe in confession and sometimes that being a good person get's you to heaven. While we have other churches that believe only a certain number of people go to heaven. Here are my beliefs and what happened when I stepped into a different kind of church. Hillsong is a huge branch. They have churches everywhere in fact one very close to me in New York City. I have been to churches before. Some that were boring, others that made me feel uncomfortable. However, Hillsong is different. When you walk in you feel the love. There are young people everywhere you turn and the volunteers are so nice. The service is even better, The messages are clear. The pastors make the messages to where you can understand them and it is not boring. The singers and the musicians bring a whole life to the church. There are so many great things happening there. Hillsong doesn't care if you have tattoo's, piercings. If you are gay or a lesbian. They don't care if your a drug addict or schizophrenic. They absolutely accept you for who you are. YES God is what makes the church but he also gives people the gifts to run them. A  church I have visited before I'm not saying the name has different views then I do and many people that are young my age ( 20) find it very boring. Ask any one I know who have been there  they will tell you they fall asleep listening to the pastor speak. There are some old traditions and it is just not for me. I believe church was boring years ago, but I believe it's not meant to be boring now. We are in 2016 experiencing a whole new world we got a lot of evil in it. The only way to get it out is to show people the Gospel. Some churches today are ruining the gospel. Pastors are turning the lectures into classrooms and people in the church are telling Gay people they are going to hell. I don't view life that way and I don't believe that is how a church should be. We have people today that have no desire to sit and listen to a Pastor. However, if we change the way a Pastor speaks, if we make it interesting and introduce more love maybe somebody will actually listen. I'm tired of the same old thing. Every year the world changes, we have to change along with the world. Stick to the same values the Bible speaks about but make church so interesting that somebody can be drunk and still get the message. I believe it's important to change the traditions of the church, to make it new and more bright. I believe it's time we stop judging others based on there choices but to love everybody. I also believe we need to make church more like a gathering and a place of love, then a place of judgement and lectures.  Hillsong is doing everything right, they are changing the world. and I'm sure there are other churches that are changing the world as well. Church needs to grow with the people and the world.

I pray and hope all of you find a church out there you love. Bottom line is, if you can understand the pastor and your not falling asleep during the sermon you are where you need to be. It's all about preference. I have formed my beliefs and have attended many churches to find the kind of style I like. You should do the same, if you have been to a church you don't like please realize not all are like that. Every church has there beliefs or things they are accustomed to or have followed for decades. Praying for you always. Any prayer requests you can message me or email me. God bless you.

How I view helping other people.

I use to wonder why no one ever loved me quite as hard as I loved them. I wondered why I always went out of the way for people 100% more than they would ever do for me. I’d think to myself. Why are people so less than? But it is not that they are less than. I am just entirely more than. Some of us were born this way. We love so  hard. We help so damn much. We work so damn hard. We feel too damn much. But as I matured I realized.. it is a blessing and a gift to do things and feel things that other people don’t. If we don’t go out of our way to make people smile who will? If we don’t show people that it doesn’t hurt to help and try to save the world who will? So many people benefit from good deeds and smiles that we don’t notice. Don’t ever stop being more than because it is hard. Know that we know & we appreciate it, even if nobody says a word.

—  Andy Insanity

That quote speaks volumes to me, I always wonder why I do so much for people. I'm always trying to help addicts recover, or help someone in trouble. I'm always texting everyone asking them if there okay even if I get no response. I always feel other people's emotions and bring it on to myself. I try to do so much because I want to be God's hands and feet here on earth, I want to reach people that feel like they are not cared for. However, sometimes I just want someone to do the same for me? Not many people like or read my status's on facebook. Not many people ask me how I'm doing or give me advice. Not many people try to make my birthday special or pay for me when I go out to dinner with someone. It's always me paying for them. It get's so exhausting. There are days where I try and say nope I'm not helping them they can figure out there own life. But then I feel selfish and get all upset because I feel like well who else is going to save them? I learned through God and through trying to understand my relationship with him and who God is that even if nobody does the same things back that you do for them your doing God's work and your doing what most people wouldn't deal with. I'm proud that I try to help people and put others before myself but sometimes I think I have to stop and take a deep breath and work on myself. I still have lots of issues to fix. I have depression, anger issues. I have mood swings and I need to figure out my life. But in the end I feel like I'm going to be okay. So even if I have things to work on or I feel like I should stop helping people or stop trying, I'm not going to. God has given me a precious calling and I will not stop. If he's given me something to go for and to love and appreciate I will do that. If he's using me because other people won't put aside there selfish thoughts I will continue to help others. I don't care if your an addict, homeless, angry or have serious underlying issues. I will help you. If you don't want to hear about God or think I pressure him to much just tell me. I will do whatever I can to make sure you are okay. Everybody deserves a chance and while I receive zero of the same help I give to others I will still continue to help, serve , do God's work. Be who I am and work on myself in the process. I admit I have flaws and everyday is a process to fix them but nobody is perfect. I encourage you to help someone this week, whether it be giving someone change, buying someone a meal, or even just giving someone a hug. Do something nice because you would want the same thing done for you.

God bless you in everything you do

Sincerely, Amanda<3.