Saturday, April 16, 2016

William Penn Middle School( the hardest years of my life, but the sweetest memories).


The middle school years were tough. First time  I ever had a "boyfriend". First time I tried alcohol. First time friends betrayed me. First time I found music to be my outlet. First time I experienced sadness. First time I felt alone....

I went through many different emotions in middle school. It was really difficult and a hard time in my life but I couldn't have gotten through those years without William Penn Middle School. Without that school I wouldn't be who I am today. 6th grade was the hardest I think. It was the year I found out I really didn't have friends. It was the year I learned about popularity and that I was the outcast. It was the year I learned I had a learning disability. It was also the year I fell into a deep depression and planned to end my life. Without the teachers and faculty they had I don't know where I would be. 7th grade came and I finally had a great group of friends. We had every class together because we were in learning support classrooms. Despite the fact I had great friends.... Sometimes I felt misunderstood. Many of my friends or peers couldn't understand why I didn't have a locker ( like everyone else). Why I carried one binder ( when everyone else had one for each class). Why I cried daily  for sometimes no reason other then simply being depressed. Even though many people didn't understand, Some of my teachers did and I simply cannot thank them enough for there encouragement. ESPECIALLY ( Ms. Beam, Mr. Elder, Mr. Kealy) As well as my emotional support teacher ( I forget her name..which upsets me Haha). I just remember not wanting to go to school. Waking up each day just feeling like I didn't want to be alive. I was bullied many times for my weight so sometimes I wouldn't eat lunch because I was afraid of what people would say. I feared some of the teachers that I had at the beginning of the year ( before I went into learning support), They did not have a very nice heart. I knew that I was the talk of the town to them because I had (issues). But the support I had from my gym teachers made everything easier. Ms. Beam impacted my life in the kindest way. I'll never forget her guidance..She was the best role model I could have ever asked for. I enjoyed being in her gym class, Just to have somebody to talk to meant the world to me because at that point in time I had nobody..not even family I could trust. Gym was just one of those things I had anxiety about but she was right there to push me but to also show me it's okay.  Mr. Elder touched my life as well. He was never my gym teacher but he was my health teacher ... I was also football manager in 8th grade and he was the assistant coach. He taught me about life in general. He let me play his guitar at my school's talent show and he saw that I was talented, Which I felt like at the time nobody could see. His words taught me to never stop playing music and to continue to play and become a true musician which is exactly what I'm still trying to do. Mr. Kealy always saw the best in me no matter what anybody would say. He would be right there proud of me and that meant the world to me because in middle school, I thought nobody was proud of me. Having his support and the fact that he cared got me through those years and I'll forever remember him and appreciate him. Even though Middle School was hard and I battled with depression and anxiety attacks every day. I still made it and here I am graduated...going to go back to school for Music education. Working..officially out of therapy and working on myself and my health every single day. I'm honestly glad those years are over, but I wouldn't trade who I met in the world. Thankful. Blessed, Saved by grace and still fighting the battle years later. Thank you to everyone who's supported me and loved me from that school, especially to all the faculty. Love you all still to this day.

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